\u201cDude?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you really going to eat that?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis? Yeah, that was my plan. Why?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know. It\u2019s just a little *whistles*\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you saying my breakfast choice is gay?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA little, yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a croissant.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI KNOW. And don\u2019t say it like that. There\u2019s a \u2018t\u2019 in there at the end. Pronounce it like an American.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI just never knew a pastry could have a sexual orientation.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it does. And yours is playing for the wrong team.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHave you ever tried one? Put a little butter on there and you\u2019re good to go. They go excellent with tea.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDude you\u2019re embarrassing me. Do you have to hold out your pinkie like that? There\u2019s some hot waitresses here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI hadn\u2019t noticed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell there are. People are gonna think we\u2019re a couple or something. You can sabotage it for yourself, but don\u2019t ruin it for me too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you think about anything other than picking up women?\u00a0 Anyway, what\u2019s so manly about that monstrosity you ordered?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you kidding me? Death by Omelet? You got five eggs, half a pound of bacon, three cups of cheddar cheese, ham, onion, and whatever else they could find. Fried! Better than that, if you finish it in an hour you get half off your next meal.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not breakfast, that\u2019s a cry for help.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd it only cost me six bucks. I won\u2019t have to eat the rest of the day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s because you\u2019ll be dead, big man.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhatever. Dude, put that pinky finger down and check this chick out. I think she\u2019s headed our way.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey. \u00a0I was sitting over there and couldn\u2019t help but notice we ordered the exact same thing. Don\u2019t they have the best croissants here? Flaky, but not too dry. I love how they practically melt<\/em> in my mouth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUm, yeah. \u00a0Goes well with a nice cup of tea too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cTotally. Have you seen some of the other stuff on the menu, though? I\u2019d hate to see the person who would order that omelet thing. Disgusting.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201c Oh. Sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t mind him. He\u2019s under the impression that women are only impressed by men that eat large quantities animal products.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, not so much. Hey, do you come here often? Crap, that sounded lame. I just thought maybe we could hang out sometime. I mean, they have that two for one deal on Tuesdays.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat sounds nice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cGreat.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my cell number.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCool.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWell, I gotta go. My gymnastics coach will kill me if I\u2019m late for practice. Have to get my stretching in. You know how bad traffic is on campus.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYeah, it sure is\u2026terrible. Nice meeting you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNice meeting you too. Don\u2019t forget to call me. Oh, and you might want to check on your friend. He doesn\u2019t look so well. Too many eggs maybe?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sure he\u2019ll be fine in a day or two. Once all the grease makes its way through his system.\u201d<\/p>\n \u2026<\/p>\n \u201cDude, do not look at me like that. I swear I\u2019ll punch that smirk right off your face.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wouldn\u2019t do that. You better conserve your energy if you plan on eating that whole thing.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou know what? She probably gave you a fake phone number. She wasn\u2019t that hot, either.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think I\u2019ll take my chances. Hey, why don\u2019t you let me get you a croissant? Looks like you could use a little more to eat.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cUgh. I think I\u2019m gonna be sick.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" To Be The Man \u201cDude?\u201d \u201cWhat?\u201d \u201cAre you really going to eat that?\u201d \u201cThis? Yeah, that was my plan. Why?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know. It\u2019s just a little *whistles*\u201d \u201cAre you saying my breakfast choice is gay?\u201d \u201cA little, yeah.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a croissant.\u201d \u201cI KNOW. And don\u2019t say it like that. There\u2019s a \u2018t\u2019 in there at the end. Pronounce it like an American.\u201d \u201cI just never knew a pastry could have a sexual orientation.\u201d \u201cWell, it does. And yours is…<\/p>\n