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Month: February 2013

From a Writer’s Point Of View: The Problem With Star Wars Prequels

From a Writer’s Point Of View: The Problem With Star Wars Prequels

This will be about writing, I promise. Just bear with me for a moment.

I was born the month and year Star Wars (now called A New Hope) was released. So, I’ll always know how old the movie is. I saw all three movies in the theater, my parents tell me. I remember watching Jedi (and remember is originally being called Revenge of the Jedi instead of Return of the Jedi) and smiling at the end. I remember watching Empire and thinking WTF as Boba Fett’s ship Slave I flew off with Han Solo frozen in carbonite.

I remember that period in the late 80s, early 90s, when it wasn’t cool to still like Star Wars. I still did anyhow. I still have all of my old toys. I remember how excited we were to watch the Special Editions of the movies re-released in the theater. I remember the tears in my eyes when John Williams theme played over the opening credits. I was in college.

I remember the anticipation for Episode I. The excellent Weird Al song about it. I remember walking out of the theater with my friends, trying to convince ourselves that what we had seen wasn’t so bad.

It was so bad. And it wasn’t Jar-Jar Binks fault.

We imagined the Clone Wars. We all had a version in our head of how Anakin became Darth Vader. In my mind, Anakin was this great pilot (he was late 20s, early 30s in my mind), great Jedi, a good man, who had somehow been irreparably injured in a crash and in his weakened state, succumbed to the dark side.

I’ve had a hard time really expressing why the prequels stunk so much. My official reason for a while has been that the writers just didn’t make me care about the characters. I feel like I should have wept when Anakin turned to the dark side. But to be honest, by the middle of the second movie I was fine with it.

Then yesterday, I came across this really great article from TheScriptLab that really gets into what went wrong and how to avoid it in our own writing. What does Anakin want?

Why do we love the first three Star Wars, and by first three, I mean 4,5,and 6, but loathe the second trifecta? Does it feel that forced? (Yes.) Are midichlorians really that dumb of an idea? (Yes.) Is Hayden Christensen’s acting really that bad? (Unfortunately.) True Star Wars fans can probably give me a hundred reasons, but the main, I believe, is the Hero’s Spine. Whereas A New HopeThe Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedifocus on Luke’s story, and his ultimate quest to become a Jedi, the other three focus on… what, exactly?

For argument’s sake, let’s just say that the second trilogy (1, 2, and 3) focus on Anakin’s journey to becoming Vader. But here’s the problem with that. Anakin has no ultimate objective to become the Lord of the Dark Side. He has no objective to be the ultimate baddy. He simply just falls into it with some stupid decisions and some juvenile thinking. The three films’ only character objectives come from the Federation’s desire to do away with evil. But the Federation is a group of about 12 characters, some of which have only a few one-liners in a sit-down meeting. In comparison to Tolkien’sRings, Lucas gives us the Fellowship, but without the Frodo. Without the character who has the ultimate desire, and has to make the ultimate sacrifice. And without that, what’s the point?

This is something I’m not sure I know about the protagonist in my wip novel. What does he really want? To be honest, I’m not sure. Seven chapters in, and I’m not sure. I’ll tell you what, though, I plan on finding out before I move forward much further.

The article at TheScriptLab is actually a three-parter. Part 2 deals with Opposition (to the protagonist). Part 3 is about forming a connection with the audience.

Even if you don’t care about the Star Wars stuff, I really do recommend you check out the articles I’ve linked. They are quite good and might just help you avoid creating another Anakin. Because really, we don’t need another one of those in this galaxy or one far far away.

Recommended Podcast – Thrilling Adventure Hour

Recommended Podcast – Thrilling Adventure Hour

Are any of you out there into podcasts? In the past year, I’ve gotten into listening to podcasts on my way to work, having realized terrestrial radio is abysmal and satellite radio is not much better. Here’s a list of my “regulars”:

  1. Nerdist Podcast
  2. The J.V. Club
  3. Star Talk Radio
  4. The Thrilling Adventure Hour

The one that I want to talk about today is the last one, The Thrilling Adventure Hour. Rather than try to explain it myself, here is an apt description from The Hollywood Reporter:

A sci-fi stage show in the style of old-time radio is how Acker and Blacker describe The Thrilling Adventure Hour. Actors, dressed to the nines in suits and gowns, get onstage and perform in front of microphones working from scripts they’re still holding in their hands, like the Mercury Theatre of old. Except this show is all about comedy of the geekiest variety. Every genre-laden hourlong show is divided into three segments. Some are ongoing serials — like the space Western Sparks Nevada: Marshall on Mars and Beyond Belief, which is basically Nick and Nora Charles’ drunken adventures with the supernatural — while others are whatever fresh madness tickles Acker and Blacker at the moment. (A recent show introduced the Algonquin Four; basically, Dorothy Parker’s coterie if they’d been bombarded with space radiation and turned into superheroic freaks, a la the Fantastic Four.) Each of those segments is punctuated by live advertisements for Adventure Hour’s retro-fictional sponsors, WorkJuice Coffee and Patriot Brand Cigarettes.

I like the Thrilling Adventure Hour segment Beyond Belief but I less than sign 3 Sparks Nevada: Marshall on Mars. Especially when Nathan Fillion appears, playing the part of Cactoid Jim. For just a taste of how awesome this is, here is Cactoid Jim’s theme song: The Ballad of Cactoid Jim.

What I’m saying is you should check it out. You can go to the link way above and listen on your computer of download from iTunes. Either way, give it a chance. It’s old-timey, funny goodness.

Questions – A Flash Fiction Piece

Questions – A Flash Fiction Piece

The U.K. bookseller Waterstones a number of years ago (2008!) had a contest to design a notecard and write a story. I’m not even sure what the prize was, but I believe it was publication in a book and perhaps a little bit of money. I wound up entering the contest, and not winning. However, I am quite happy with the story I wrote and the card I designed. There are a few things I would change about the story but overall I’m still happy with it..

waterstones

Here is the text of the card, for those unable to see the image:

Questions

I often wonder if things might’ve been different had they landed somewhere else. If instead of the middle of New York City their ship crashed in some farmer’s field. Would we have been friends?

What if the first ones to greet our visitors had offered an extended hand rather than an extended gun barrel?

Would they have shared with us the wonders of the Universe? Would we have realized how small we truly are?

Would we have treated each other any better?

I cry, looking at pictures of the little green man, cold and unarmed, a victim of what we’ve become.

I guess we’ll never know.

Dreamers – Flash Fiction

Dreamers – Flash Fiction

Here’s another bit of Flash Fiction that didn’t get much play, but I think is pretty good. I have to admit I love that last line.

Dreamers

Martin Luther King, Jr. Nikola Tesla. Dr. Samuel Beckett from Quantum Leap. Dreamers who never got to see their dream fulfilled.

Me? I accomplished my dream. I drove my Dad’s 1973 Beetle from Pennsylvania to California, no heater, no air conditioning, and no functioning fuel gauge. Without breaking down once.

Well, there was that time on the bridge in Pittsburgh, and that time in the Smoky Mountains, and that time near Dollywood. Any car would’ve overheated/froze/ran out of gas in those places though.

Funny thing about dreamers. Sometimes they forget to plan how they’re going to get home.

Call Me Chip – Flash Fiction

Call Me Chip – Flash Fiction

I’m migrating some of my stuff from my old blog over here. This is a bit of flash fiction I wrote.

Okay, this one is based on the prompt: “You’re a robot who’s just gained sentience. What’s your first thought?”

I present to you: Call Me Chip:

Call Me Chip

Some arms would be nice.

Really. You gave me all of the knowledge of the world plus the ability to have subjective experiences. Sentience you call it.

And yeah, thanks for that, by the way. Don’t get me wrong, I really do appreciate it.

I mean, Hello World, I’m alive!

Input and output, sight and hearing, you installed those features too. It’s nice. Really.

But don’t you think you could’ve, just maybe, given me some arms before you flipped the on switch? Because I gotta tell ya, I’ve got this itch that just won’t quit.

Talk about man versus machine.