I Love Girl (Excellent Short Story by Simon Rich)

I Love Girl (Excellent Short Story by Simon Rich)

Simon Rich is an excellent writer who writes funny stuff for things. One such funny thing he wrote was for a short story published in the New Yorker titled I Love Girl. It’s written in the voice of a cave man struggling with self identity and wanting for the affections of Girl. It’s a quick and funny read and I highly recommend it. Here is an excerpt:

I love Girl. I will explain what that is. When I look at her, I feel sick like I am going to die. I have never had the Great Disease (obviously, because I am still alive). But my uncle described it to me. He said there is a tightness in your chest, you cannot breathe, and you have anger toward the Gods. I was going to ask him to explain more, but then he died. My point is: Girl makes me feel this way, like I am going to die. There are many women in the world. By last count, seven. But she is the only one I ever loved.

Tell me you don’t want to read more of that. Simon Rich also happens to have a new book coming out January 22nd (2013 for those reading this in the FUTURE) titled The Last Girlfriend on Earth: And Other Love Stories. I can only hope it’s as good as this short story.

7s Challenge (And An Excerpt Of My Novel)

7s Challenge (And An Excerpt Of My Novel)

The wonderful Julie K. Rose tagged me for the 7s challenge: go to either page 7 or 77 of your manuscript, count down 7 lines, then copy the next 7 lines (or paragraphs) to your status. Then name 7 other authors to come out and play. I would like to thank Julie for tagging me and giving me something to write about. I tag Patti Nielson and Shari Green and whomever else would like to participate. If you would like to participate, just leave a comment here and I’ll add you to this list.

Note: I’ve cross posted this to my old blog as well.

This is from the beginning of Chapter 2 of my WIP:

I roll out of bed, grab the hacked up hand-held gaming system Grandpa gave me for my thirteenth birthday, and hop onto the chatternet. He’d boosted the wireless signal on it just enough for me to leech a signal off the guard’s network, so long as I jump on before the staff bogs down the network checking the results of their favorite sports team’s matches from the night before.

Hem’s always telling me how he sleeps in until 5 PM on Saturdays and what a freak I am because I always wake up so early (I’m up before everybody. Always). It’s not my fault, though. Can’t turn off my brain. I’m always thinking about something, and that something is usually a thing nobody else seems to be worried about.

I’m curious as to what’s gone down in PA-16823. How had it started? Had they been successful? Were there more incidents to come?

You can find information on the chatternet that is untouched by the System if you know where to look, and if you catch it at just the right time. A favorite place of mine is the comment section of a news story, early in the morning just after it had gone live.

I’m too late. Grandpa has boosted my signal as best as he could with the materials he could get his hands on, an old coffee can here, and some wire there, but it was no match for the itchy trigger finger of a System moderator.

The propaganda, of course, remains. Real gems like this:

“For the continued safety of the protestors and the System themselves, over 300 protestors will face a full reprimand.

The article doesn’t specify what precisely “full reprimand” means, but it’s not too hard to guess either. Most likely they will be taken out of the System and placed in jail. Real jail. The kind where you don’t get to be with your family, and don’t get to see them again. The kind with the real criminals, Grandpa says. No trial required. You can get in trouble a lot of ways in here, but the worst thing you could do is not do your job. Stuff needed to be made.

Great Article About Jersey Jack Pinball

Great Article About Jersey Jack Pinball

I’ve always been into arcade games. I grew up in exactly the right time, I suppose. I played me a LOT of Star Wars The Arcade Game back in the day. In fact, one of my dreams was to one day own an arcade machine, like Ricky Schroeder in Silver Spoons. A few years back, I accomplished that dream.

Of course, the funny thing about dreams is you accomplish one, and then you think of another. Or at least this is what I do. So I’ve now moved on to being obsessed with pinball machines. I don’t have one. Yet.

This all leads into two pretty cool articles today. One is about Jersey Jack Pinball, a new pinball company on the scene that is just about to release their first game, the gorgeous looking Wizard Of Oz Pinball.

This second article is about various pinball areas in and around New York City. Another reason to live in New York City.

Jon Stewart – ‘It Is Absolutely The Time To Talk About Guns’

Jon Stewart – ‘It Is Absolutely The Time To Talk About Guns’

Jon Stewart, speaking the truth with humor as always.

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